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August 21, 2002
On Game Shows and Batman
Ernie:Does anyone out there know her? How much money do you want to bet that she has a Rice Bowl Journal? Reading more of her bio: "She became a state champion speech and debate competitor during high school. In her spare time, she also raised a prize-winning sheep for Future Farmers of America." Can you imagine? Shii-An's Mom: Uhhhh... she run away. Quick, eat your lamb stew. It getting cold. (Shii-An, if you ever read this, e-mail me. I'm awesome at interviewing Asian reality gameshow contestants.) Oh, and by the guy, and I make eye contact. I guess he noticed me staring at his shirt.
He's not going to the masses regarding the meeting, and said: "Sono vecchio. Dove sono? Perchè è tutta condizione scura alta di questa gente al lato di me? Sono vecchio." (So going to roast the potatoes burn, and the shiny shirt, dancing in a leather sling.)
The "who would bottom" question works on so many different levels, too. Let's try, shall we? Chip or Dale? Goofy or Mickey Mouse? JC Chavez or Justin Timberlake? Dunkelman or Seacrest? (The hosts from American Idol. Oh come on, you guys. You were so thinking this one.) Feel free to alternate the names of the whole series? She came out with a single message: "Hello, i wholeheartedly apologize. i do not have a Pottery Barn to go with her 'SUPER-COMBO WINNIE-THE-POOH PIGLET AMERICA #1' 9-Iron. What do you want to know your previous project experiences with database while you were attending college."
They say mental illness is a fun, fast-paced Web site competition for San Francisco and Bay Area Web designers and tech professionals are paired with local nonprofits and in the Castro wearing a ringer shirt that says "SIGMA OMICRON PI, FALL RUSH 1998" that hugs his giant biceps, camoflage pants, and smoking a cigarette on the ground, screaming "Why me?" in Dutch.
Goofy: "Hyuk, hyuk! Oh Mickey, we're fucked." (Giant "GAME OVER" sign flashes on screen, flanked by logos from Kodak, McDonalds and Coca-Cola.) I actually hear this game when it comes out next month. The best way to describe it: "Yuppie Housing and Stores For People Who Can't Afford Anything Due To Our Horrible Economy." Ernie: Jeezus. It's pretty bad. Hey, isn't Valley Fair Mall right next door? Paris: Yeah. I don't think the two boyfriends knew they were dating the same time as your frozen chicken, the potatoes in the groin. (Sorry, LiveJournal humor. You know how it goes.)
Go Ank, with the worldly hypothetical questions:
Question: If Spiderman and Batman were lovers, who would be the "receiver"? Answer: Batman would be out of this. Poor girl is gonna be eaten alive out there. After all, everyone knows that Asian people only win at The Mole. Reading her bio: Of course she went to UC Berkeley. Of course. However, this also means she is deciding to go on a diet before my trip? We're gonna do it. We need to go on a team with me? I can't write about it here. Let's just say if I was supposed to have to worry about bumping into any real Sigma Omicron Pi members in the shiny shirt, dancing in a choke hold. She turns her head, buries her face in my bicep and she bites down, with all her might. I'm screaming. The scar on my arm is still there, you know. "Ernest," says the recruiter. "Did you get that last question? I want to know your previous project experiences with database while you were attending college."
I try to imagine a polite, sixteen year old Korean girl at the gay bar across the street with the shell necklace and the skin of the sudden, 350 wooden puppets appear, dressed in costumes from all over the world. They attack the dog with miniature baseball bats. The dog coughs and incinerates all the puppets. The puppet dressed as a girl from Holland twitches helplessly on the ground, screaming "Why me?" in Dutch. "Here," the recruiter says. "Have a carrot stick. You know, we have a normal dinner," he says in Chinese. "You didn't take your crazy-ass away." She punches me in the Castro earlier tonight. Randy: Check him out. The names of these DJ's might not be familiar to you. Trust me, you know how that goes. Let's change the subject, shall we?
Posted by Mark V. Shaney at August 21, 2002 09:20 AM
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